Thursday, May 16, 2013

Drawing- Ursula from The Little Mermaid


Wanted to see if I could still draw worth a shit. Turns out I'm rusty as fuck. I officially ruined her when I decided to color her.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Fist Full Of Sand


I called his cell phone one more time, with hopes that he would answer. Straight to voicemail yet again. It had been over two hours since he left to go buy some beer, but last time I checked the corner store was not that far away. I knew he was up to something by this point, he wouldn’t have taken my car keys with him if he wasn’t. So I was stranded at home with no way to go look for him, not that I would know where to begin in all honesty. But being stuck here, not being able to do anything was driving me crazy.
Again, I pulled the curtains aside and peered through the window thinking maybe this time I would see headlights pulling into the driveway. No such thing, just some random alley cat relieving itself on the front lawn. I made a mental note to place some water dishes spiked with antifreeze out the next morning. Dinner had gotten cold a long time ago and I decided I best put it away, after all no one would be eating tonight by the looks of it. I didn’t have much of an appetite anyway, not after he pulled his vanishing act on me. I can’t say I was surprised; it wouldn’t be the first time he had pulled this shit on me. Yet the constant repetition didn’t ease the anger, growing in me like some disease spreading into my limbs. He would be sorry for abandoning me here tonight to go out and do god knows what.

I had already called some of his friends and family to make sure he hadn’t gone by to visit. They all said the same thing, they hadn’t heard from him. At least now if he came home telling me he went to visit his mother like he usually did, I could tell him what a bad liar he was. I tried to keep myself occupied by cleaning up a bit but even that didn’t seem to help and I finally ending up settling for watching reruns of Will and Grace trying to kill some time. That is all I had to do after all, wait for him to show up.
Soon enough I heard his truck pulling into its usual resting place in our driveway. I stopped pacing back and forth, from room to room, and went to stand by the front door. I stood there waiting for him to come in, preparing myself for any story he would try to have me believe, for I knew that anything that came out of his mouth would more than likely be a lie.

Finally, I heard the screen door creak as it was pulled open and his keys jangle as he inserted them to unlock the door. The door opened as he stepped in, or rather staggered in I should say. Apparently he had been telling the truth about buying beer as I could tell he was clearly intoxicated with the way he swerved to and fro. Now I just had to get to the bottom of WHERE he had gone to drink his beer. He wasn’t even completely through the doorway when I went off on him.
“Where the hell have you been?!”

He closed the door behind him and stepped past me, ignoring my question only leaving the stench of cheap beer behind. I followed him into the bedroom where he had begun to peel off his clothes. He seemed oblivious to the fact that I was standing there looking at him as he flung his dirty work boots into a corner of the room.
“I’m talking to you, don’t fucken ignore me! Where have you been?”

“Don’t start with me, I was at my moms.”
 He was lying to me, I had already called his mother. What kind of an idiot did he take me for?

“I spoke with your mother earlier liar, you weren’t there.”
He turned to me with a lost expression on his face. I could tell he was thinking of what to say next.

“Why did you take my keys? Where are they?”
“They’re in my truck.”

I stormed out of the bedroom and towards the front door, set on getting my car keys from his truck before he decided to take off with them again. I opened the vehicle quickly turning on the cabin light and searched for my keys. That’s when I noticed the smell, that oh so familiar smell. I stopped what I was doing and stood there processing what my nostrils were telling me. It was one of those occasions where you recognize the odor before you can actually give it a name. Then it hit me, it smelled like sex. You know what I’m talking about, that after sex smell that lingers in the air. Sweat and bodily fluids all mixed up into one unmistakable smell. I peered into the backseat and sure enough what was lying on the floor? A used condom filled with semen, discarded amongst empty beer cans and never given a second thought.
I felt something explode in me, a fury not commonly known to me. That’s why his phone had been off, that’s why he had been gone for over two hours, that’s why he had to lie and say he was at his mother’s! I slammed the truck door behind me and rushed back into the bedroom where he was now lying in the bed.

“You asshole! You forgot to throw out the condom!”
He shot up from the bed with an expression of both worry and guilt on his face. He knew what I was talking about.

“Who was it?!” I spat at him.
“Babe, let me explain.”

“What could you possibly say that would explain this? You know what you did, I caught you.”
He remained silent for a moment, contemplating whether to proceed or not. His silence seemed to go on for what felt like an eternity. I needed answers and I needed them now.

“My brother borrowed my truck for awhile babe. That’s probably where…”
“That’s enough, don’t you dare lie to me again.” I interjected. “Nothing you can say is going to get you out of this. Who was it?”

“Fine, if you’re so set on knowing the truth, yes I fucked around tonight. There, you happy?”
It was my turn to be silent. I couldn’t quite grasp what I had just heard. A pain blossomed in my chest, a broken heart its cause, pieces falling apart like dried petals from a deceased flower.  True, I had thought maybe that was what he had been up to, but something in me was praying I was wrong. And now he just blurted it out with no feeling what so ever, as if he was simply giving me the time or answering some other mundane question.

“Just like that?” I stated.
“Just like that. What can I say, the dick is good.”

I knew what he was doing, placing salt into the wound. But I couldn’t help myself, it hurt more than I expected it to, hearing those words escape his lips, his cheating, lying lips. Just then I couldn’t bare to see him, I wanted to be as far away from him as humanly possible.
“If it’s so fucken good, why don’t you go back with him? See if he puts up with half the shit I do.” I yelled at him as I turned and made my way for the door.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“I’m leaving! I don’t have to put up with this anymore. I’ve been wanting to leave for some time now, thank you for finally giving me an excuse!”

He shot out from the room shoving me aside and stood between me and the front door, “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Get out of my way.”

“You wanted to talk so let’s talk.”
“I have nothing else to say to you.”

I tried pushing him aside but he stood his ground. I was practically foaming at the mouth by this point and I pushed him hard with hopes of removing him from the way yet again. I wasn’t expecting what happened next as he swung at me, his fist making contact with my face. I was stunned for a second, little stars obstructing my view, but when I was able to focus again I saw him rushing at me. Before I had time to react he had pinned me against a wall with both his hands around my neck, squeezing with all his strength. I tried pulling them away to no avail and given our position I couldn’t swing at him. In desperation I clawed at his face and tried digging my fingers into his eyes like I had seen in a movie once.
He loosened his grip and I took advantage, switching my weight over onto my left leg and kneeing him in the groin with my right. He fell back, grabbing his groin. I remember seeing red, I’m not one to look for fights but when you set me off, all hell breaks loose. I jumped on him, making sure to pin his arms underneath me and started swinging at his face. One after another my clenched fists found their target.

He finally managed to shove me off and we both shot up off from the floor. He let another right hook lose at me which I was able to avoid by stepping back. He however was not so quick and again my right fist pounded away at his face. I’m not sure when he got a hold of the lamp from one of the side tables exactly, but he did. And he was not hesitant about flinging it at me. I felt a hot liquid pour down my face and I soon realized it was blood. The motherfucker had cut me. I ran to the other side table and grabbed the other lamp and made sure to repay the favor. Smashing it over his head, he fell back onto the floor laying in pieces of broken ceramic from the shattered lamps. I kicked him a couple of times wanting nothing more than to hurt him, to make him pay for his infidelity, for the blood I was now losing.
Wait, the blood I was now losing. I snapped out of my rage realizing I could quite possibly be seriously hurt. I ran out the front door leaving him on the living room floor and made my way to my car. Fuck, I hadn’t found my keys earlier.  A few of the neighbors were standing outside trying to figure out what was going on and I noticed some were on the phone.

“Great, they’re calling the police” I thought to myself.
I left my car behind and made a run for it on foot. I wanted to get away from there, leave it all behind. I started running down the street. I’m not sure how many blocks I had covered when I finally decided to stop under the cover of some overgrown bushes on the side of the street. Trying to catch my breath, I pulled off my shirt and started wiping away the blood from my face. So much blood. From what I gathered I had a cut or gash somewhere on my head. Great, at least it’s not on my face.

Going to the hospital was out of the question. That would be the first place the cops would go looking for me, if they went looking for me at all. I wasn’t sure how badly I had hurt him after all I did leave him lying on the floor when I left. What if that lamp to the head had killed him? What if indeed the cops were out looking for me now. I felt fear and panic begin to surge through my body as I again took off running.
I had no idea where I was going, I just knew I couldn’t be anywhere close by. I ran for what felt like forever only occasionally stopping to wipe the blood away from my eyes, oh how it stung. By now I could start feeling aches in my body from the blows we had exchanged earlier. I guess with all the adrenaline rushing through my veins at the time I hadn’t realized just how many times he had indeed managed to hit me. It was evident now with how badly I was sore in places.

I ended up at my mother’s front door, I suppose subconsciously I feel the safest with her. Luckily she still kept an extra key hidden on her front porch and I let myself in, careful not to make too much noise less I wake her up and have to explain everything to her. No, not tonight, I just wanted this night to be over with. I’ll worry about it tomorrow. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it as my mother would say.
I made my way into what used to be my room, untouched even though I hadn’t lived with my mom in some years. I sank into my bed suddenly tired beyond believe. Please take me into your arms sweet Morpheus, I wish to rest my tired mind. Everything I knew had been lost this night, never to be the same again. I wrapped myself with the blankets, trying to disappear from the world. Again, I felt liquid running down my face, only this time it was my tears escaping me. And then sweet nothing as I dosed off into a troubled sleep.