Sitting here trying to pull the words from my mind, words of
happiness and better times. Yet all I get are these broken words, dark and
cold, like black pebbles discarded on the floor only meant to be stepped on. How
can I string these together? How can I share these sad words with the world?
With hopes that somebody out there will take them in and nourish them. Remind
them of a thing called joy. No, these words are birthed from somebody who is
equally broken. No beautiful thing can come of me.
Here again, doomed to relive the same routine day in and day
out. Nothing ever changes in this world, everything does as it has always been
expected to. We are born and then we die. God I beg for something different,
this existence has become tiresome and mundane. How many more cigarettes must I
smoke before I am lost in insanity, lost amongst my tattered dreams? Merely a
ghost of who I used to be.
I mustn’t forget to paint another smile on my face before I go
out. Less people realize just how wounded I really am. Less people realize how I
have lost my way. Wandering the streets in search of yesterday, when my heart
knew of felicity. Another day another burden. Yet another problem I must bear.
How much more must I carry on my chest, how much more must I endure?
Let go, let go. In the end I will fall, like smoke let the
winds carry me away. What is the point after all? There is no winning in this
game, everybody loses. Lay back and let my tired soul rest as life engulfs me
like an angry wave. Let it drown me, there is no need to fight.Close my eyes and close my mind to that that surrounds me. To the four walls that have always trapped me, never let me live. To the hate I have known my entire life, a poison that is slowly killing me. To those who wear many masks that call themselves my friends. To the acceptance I will never have. To the love I will never know.
All I have are broken words, dark and cold, like black
pebbles discarded on the floor only meant to be stepped on.
