The Smell of Vomit and Mint

I walked back and forth down the narrow hallway, jotting down the location of the patients under my care. It was part of my new job here at the Psychiatric Rehab Center I had recently landed a job at. The hallway was dark due to the fact that maintenance had not been by to fix the light I had submitted a report about since the week before and stank of urine since one of the elderly patients thought it funny to wet herself just to have the nurses come by and change her. The tan walls were lined with the many wooden doors that led into the patients rooms and the tiled floor was till slippery since it had been waxed the night before. It was hard to hear my own thoughts with the sound of laughter emitting from one of the rooms with a woman who laughed at her own jokes in it. It was my second week on the floor on my own and I was still getting the hang of things. But I have to admit this was a nice change from calling people at home in the middle of dinner trying to sell them something they really didn’t need. Quite frankly I had the tendency to surround myself with people who were a little “off” and this wasn’t too much of a difference. As a matter of fact, most of the patients voiced how much they loved me and how nice I was compared to the other workers. That didn’t come as a surprise to me, after all I noticed the way they looked down on them and cracked jokes at the patients expense when they were training me. Not me, I empathized with them. How could I not? I know I’ve been on the brink of insanity when life has become unbearable; the hardest thing in this world is just to live in it after all. I found myself enjoying conversations with these people on many occasions. I’ve always loved listening to stories about people’s personal journeys. These stories were just a bit more heartbreaking, littered with drug abuse, loss, and depression.

I made my way over to the day room once I finished with my notes and sat next to Georgina on the couch. Georgina was a tall woman with cropped blonde hair who was originally from Louisiana. She often told me she would cook me a good old fashion Cajun meal once she was discharged. The thing about Georgina was she was a difficult woman, outspoken and defiant. Many workers had warned me about her and told me to keep my guard up around her. But what would you know, she and I hit it off the moment we met. She often referred to me as Honey and Sugar, especially whenever she wanted me to take her out for another smoke break. She was always the sweetest person whenever it came to me. She would say the thing she loved about me the most was that I always had time to listen to her.  She was being treated for severe depression and suicidal thoughts. You see Georgina had lost her husband and son in a terrible car accident. Their car had been rammed off the road and into a nearby river where her family drowned, she was the one driving and was the cause of the accident. She was ridden with guilt as she so often shared in group and wished only to join her family in death. But today seemed to be a good day for her, evident in the way she turned and smiled at me.

“Morning baby is it almost time for a smoke break” she asked leaning over to hug me.

“Almost Ms. Georgina just got a few more things I need to catch up with first.”

“Alright then honey. You let me know when you’re ready, just don’t make me wait too long you got it?”

“Yes ma’am. I’ll be sure to make it quick.”

I got up from the seat and made my way over to Elizabeth’s room. She had been in the shower for the last forty-five minutes or so which wasn’t something out of the ordinary. Lizzy, as I so often called her, was bulimic and given that was a skeleton of a girl, nothing but skin and bones. She was almost always too drugged up to socialize and usually sat in her room half asleep, eyes all but closed and mind wandering off into different realities. Whenever she did get up, it was always in lethargic, sloth like motions, taking an eternity just to walk to the opposite end of the room. Watching her serve herself coffee was a spectacle all on its own. She lacked the strength necessary to lift her cup or to tear open the packets of creamer and Splenda but would always refuse my assistance. It was better off that way, having her do things for herself; it was what we were to encourage them to do anyway.

I knocked on the bathroom door as I had been doing on my rounds since she had jumped into the shower. “Hey Lizzy is everything ok in there?” No answer.  I knocked again and repeated my question, only louder this time, “Everything ok in there Lizzy?” Again no answer.

I noticed a group of the other residents had formed at the door, all peering in trying to figure out why Elizabeth wasn’t answering me. I recalled I had a set of keys to the bathroom door and decided I should open it. Georgina was already standing next to me by this point having heard me call out to Elizabeth.

“Good thing you came Georgina, I’m going to open the door but given that I’m a male staff member I really shouldn’t be going in there. Would you mind going in with me?”
“You don’t need to ask, open the god damn door and make sure Elizabeth is fine!”

I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I can’t say I was prepared for what I saw, I really wasn’t expecting to have an incident so early on in my time here. There in the shower was Elizabeth, laying on the shower floor unconscious with the shower curtain bundled up beside her. She had obviously attempted to grab onto it and failed. Her tiny naked body was curled up in an awkward position causing her ribs to stick out even more than normal as the water continued to cascade down on her. I felt the adrenaline course through my veins as I leapt beside her checking for any wounds that may have been caused with the fall, the sour smell of vomit enveloped me. She had obviously been purging and must have fainted in the middle of the act. I firmly shook Elizabeth calling out to her with no success. I laid her back down and shut off the water, the last thing I wanted was for her to drown on my watch. I grabbed for my walkie-talkie and called out for assistance. Within seconds other members of the staff arrived. I stepped back and rallied up the on looking patients, taking them back into the day room.

I heard a commotion coming from Elizabeth’s room so I rushed over. Another staff member had Georgina in his arms, holding her back as she fought and attempted to claw her way back to Elizabeth’s side.

“Have a nurse get an injection ready, this bitch won’t listen” he yelled at me.

“Georgina! Stop that! If you want us to help her, you need to give us some room” I yelled out. “There’s no sense in making a scene, you’re just going to get medicated and that’s going to be less people helping Lizzy!”

Georgina turned towards me and I noticed her body relax. “You can let her go now, I’ll take care of her.” I took Georgina by the hand and walked her to her room.

“What’s wrong with her” she muttered through tears.

“Everything’s going to be ok Georgina. Just calm down.”

I didn’t believe what I was saying, but I had to try to calm her less they put her down with an injection.

I returned my gaze back to the other room, Lizzy was lying on the floor surrounded by the staff that had begun to perform CPR on her. Not a good sign. Moments later an ambulance had arrived to take Lizzy to the emergency room. It was sad seeing her fragile body be wheeled out of her room, oxygen masked covering her face.

It all ended just as quickly as it had started as the remaining patients and I were left in the unit in silence. Everybody was in a state of shock, me most of all. I wished somebody would come and explain it all to me, I hated not knowing what was happening. Would she be ok? Would she be coming back? Only time would tell.

“Sugar, I need a fucking cigarette” Georgina stated as only Georgina could.

“You and me both baby” I muttered back.

I went to the cabinet where they kept the patients cigarettes locked up and proceeded to hand them out, one cigarette per patient.

“Alright, everybody line up.”

We exited the unit in a single file and went to smoke our anxieties away.